“What do you imply the recreation did not save?!”, Thilmann had not a lot requested Slackbladder as stowed the query in a sack of rocks, spat on the sack till no moisture remained in his physique, then swung the sack at Slackbladder’s brow, leaving the thief dazed and greater than a bit of soggy. “What in Odin’s gammy eye flap does that even imply?!”.
No concept, each Slackbladder and the remainder of the corporate have been pressured to confess. All we knew was that final struggle had gone even worse than we would thought. Dogpollock and Glass Toe Jim Joe Jackon have been nonetheless lifeless, however now Terry and Fritz had joined them. “How do you play a battle worse the second time?!” bellowed Thilmann. Once more, none of us together with Thilmann understood what this meant, though all of us agreed it sounded unbelievably silly. Actual “large fool who nonetheless hasn’t discovered the sport after 4 diary entries” hours.
Each Fritz and Terry had been with the corporate because the starting, and we initially thought-about constructing a funerary cairn out of soggy rocks earlier than remembering the rocks have been metaphorical, and in addition that we have been hungry. Again to Al-Hazif sharpish, then.
We had, at the very least, scrounged up some first rate loot from the lifeless nomads. Galib the Peculiar obtained a brand new crossbow to switch the bow he’d normal from, as he advised it, driftwood and ettin pubes, and in addition claimed a brand new hat. The remainder we offered at market, leaving us a thousand crowns richer between that and the bounty.
It is then we noticed it: Al Hazif’s combating area. The primary we would come throughout, or at the very least the primary we would been sober sufficient to not mistake for some form of very shouty dance pageant. There was no struggle till tomorrow, so we determined to make camp, lick our wounds, apply some medication to our wounds after realising not a tongue amongst us hadn’t sprouted at the very least two completely different forms of beforehand unrecorded and deeply toxic fungus, and are available again within the morning.
Our fame had grown sufficient by this level that we have been in a position to rent the beginning of a retinue, though all of the choices have been out of our worth vary. Not out of our worth vary was Baron Von Bonbonbonbonbon, a minor noble from a distant land the place minor nobles served on the leisure of barely extra main nobles as attendants do kings elsewhere. Absurdly grandiloquent because it sounded to our ears, the Baron’s title was thought-about comically truncated in his homeland, and he’d fled to Al Hazif for a contemporary begin after being ridiculed for it and in addition, he added, for his large dick. “Thunderously large and wrathful because the heavens,” he mentioned, gesticulating with obscene vividity. We advised him to be quiet and shoved him within the entrance line.
We have been removed from flush sufficient to carry us as much as full power, however to shore up our misplaced numbers, we employed one other named Dafydd Ziffles, a rapacious pit fighter with an odd urge for food for consuming honey-dipped abacuses complete with out swallowing and really particular type of coprolalia that brought on him to repeatedly shout bigger and bigger numbers with no concern as to whether these numbers had even the slightest foundation in actuality. He did have excellent ranged defence, nonetheless, so on the roster he went.
By noon, we have been prepared, and really slowly walked in direction of the world whereas a neighborhood bard tailed us enjoying Little Inexperienced Bag from Reservoir Canine on panpipes, which all of us instantly recognised and loved regardless of not a single individual in your complete world having concept what both Reservoir Canine or the particular mix of pagan and greek folklore required for an instrument to be named ‘pan pipes’ was. This didn’t deter us. It was combating time.
We have been barely deflated to be taught that our opponents could be “two not too long ago retired desert bandits”, though solely three of us might struggle, which might hopefully maintain issues fascinating. Jason Of Stathingham insisted he struggle regardless of having wounded his arm not too long ago, after which proceeded to stare headbuttishly at us till we acquiesced. Thilmann and Rumjugs joined him.
“I’ve by no means seen this a lot of these bizarre little shoulder-and-head-only males on display at one time,” commented Thilmann as we walked in. “I imply…have a look at these crowds!”. The throng of bizarre little shoulder-and-head-only males cheered as we dug our heels into the sand. Additionally, the music was extraordinarily good. Like, an absolute standout in a soundtrack that is often fairly nice anyway, mentioned Thilmann, to which Jason threatened to interrupt a fourth wall over his head.
Because the trio met the stares of the retired bandits throughout from them, an odd silence appeared to defy the boisterous stands. This all felt far too simple, and if the final two weeks of mercenary work had taught them something, it is that if one thing looks like a free meal, somebody’s often taken at the very least one and maybe as much as six particular person pisses in it. They’d began out decided to win the day. It immediately felt uncertain whether or not they’d even survive it.
I forgot to say it for intelligent and based mostly narrative causes however this was the penultimate Battle Prose for a bit whereas I transfer on to a distinct diary so please deal with the above sentence with the suitable quantity of portent. See you subsequent time for the finale!
